Who the hell is Jacob?
by He's No Angel
Summary: AU! Connor is kidnapped. By Spike! And taken. To a bar! Haha poor Angel! Not really funny, just weird with a lil drama. 1shot!


**(TITLE):**** WHO THE HELL IS JACOB?**

**(DISCLAIMERS):**_**Dun own 'em but Id b willing 2 buy Connor -GETS BEHEADED BY A VERY PISSED OFF ANGEL- **_

_**...Errrm nevermind...**_

**(A/N):**_**This is AU and sumthing kompletely done on a whim. Connor has just started 2 live with Angel at the Hyperion and Spike...is just there, along with an alive Cordelia and Fred. **_

"So, how should we handle this?" Angel asked, leaning back casually behind his desk in the leather swivel chair.

"I could kill you."

"Again, I ask, how should we handle this?"

"I could kill-"

"-A way that preferably doesnt have me DIE, if you please."

"I could...kill you."

"Um no?"

"You murdered my lover, Angelus!"

"_Angel. _And 'murdered' is such a harsh word, dont you think? You can find other lovers- c'mon, this is L.A. Im sure there's gotta be SOMEBODY out there thats into the whole leather pants...sharp teeth...errr brown dots...green skin..." The vampire trailed off even further, then looked up at Cordy perched on her seat by the bookshelf to his side. "Uh Cordy, help me out here?"

"Huh? Oh! Oh yeah!" She nodded her head quickly and smiled very unconvincingly. "I heard its very...in!"

"You think this is a JOKE?" The demon snarled, leaning forward in his chair. Angel quickly turned back to him, smiling pleasantly and holding his hands up in a surrender-like motion.

"No, no, thats not what I meant," he laughed, trying to make light of the situation. The demon in front of him was almost identical to Merl, his long-dead contact, and had the same slick attitude and fashion sense to boot. The only difference, however, was the bravado act. The demon calling himself Jacob had simply walked in with gusto, seated himself fully aware of the curious looks from the vampire and his employee, then made direct eye contact, stating his unbelievable intention and reason. Angel had risen an eyebrow, but that was about it. He expected something like this, after all. It was sad to say, but death threats were very common, however, death threats from somebody just lounging around in his workplace were NOT. "If I remember correctly," which he did; a photographic memory came in handy every now and then, "your girlfriend tried to stab me about a month back- stab me in the knee, as a matter of fact. What was I doing? Oh yeah, trying to stop her from sacrificing virgins in the back of a bar. Sorry if I messed up the plan there-"

Cordy piped up, "Why virgins would go to a bar, we dont know as of yet. Its been bugging us all for a few weeks..."

Jacob glared, saying nothing.

"Here, have a peppermint," the vampire offered, indicating to the green bowl on his desk. "And Cordelia, turn on some music, would you? Its getting kind of melancholy in here. Something upbeat."

Marvin Gaye suddenly filled the air, the romantic song clashing dangerously with the atmosphere. _"Baby, I got sick this morning. A sea was storming inside of me..." _

Angel turned back to the demon, giving an innocent smile as Jacob looked back at him, slightly freaked-out, but after a second, accepted the candy before him with an expectant nod.

Angel leaned back farther. "Now, where were we?"

"I came to kill you, vampire."

"Cordy, turn it up. Im not really feeling it yet."

_"And when I get that feeling...I want...SEXUAL HEALING." _Angel shot her a 'What the HELL is that?' look, then glared, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. "Maybe not the type of song I had in mind..." She quickly switched it over.

He looked over at the dark green-skinned man again. "May I repeat, because the first couple of times I dont think you heard me too well, how should we HANDLE this, hm?"

"...I guess I could settle for beheading you..."

Angel sighed. "No, that really wont do. Im expecting somebody soon." It was already past ten, though. He flicked his gaze to the ceiling, drumming his fingers impatiently now. Connor was most likely done with his first alone-staking and would be heading back soon. Angel had to wrap this up fast, and by fast meaning getting the guy out of here or at the very least...chopping his head off and throwing him out a window. "So, how can we deal with this in a NON-VIOLENT way? And by 'non-violent', I mean refraining from the acts of killing and the like."

"I WILL kill you."

"No, you'll try. There's a difference. Now, what are you going to do?"

"I could...shoot you?"

Angel nodded, playing along. "Alright...Wait. Where?"

"In the head. At far-range. So it explodes."

"See?" The vampire threw his hands into the air. "There you go with the whole I 'have to die' thing. Well, its redundant and...not going to happen, so decide something else."

Jacob gave him a confused stare and sat there, contemplating his next move as the minutes slowly ticked by. Angel opted for watching the clock intently, not at all bothered by the fact he was holed up in the hotel with somebody out to kill him.

He was late.

Connor should have atleast CALLED to inform him how things had went. Ignoring the glare from the demon, he called up his boy, but when he only got a voicemail after a few rings, he started to feel that swirl of worry deep within his stomach. He pushed it away, though, for the moment.

"Im thinking you didnt like your girlfriend too much," he concluded to Jacob, closing his phone.

"Why do you say that?"

"You've made no move to attack me. If she had been important, you would have atleast tried to stake me at the door," Angel pointed out.

Jacob looked down. "...I was...cheating on her."

Both Angel and Cordy's eyebrows rose at that comment, but the vampire picked up a pencil and twirled it, now bored beyond belief.

"Ok."

"...And I found out she was my cousin."

"Ok..."

"And...I was cheating on her with the person she was cheating on ME with..."

"Ok..."

"And she was pregnant."

"Yours?" Angel asked.

"No."

"Ok..."

"She doesnt like dogs, either."

Cordy leaned forward with much braindead concern showing in her eyes, speaking as if she could enlighten the world. "And how do you feel about that?"

"It sucks!" Jacob completely broke down now, sobbing, and placed his head in his hands for added emphasis. "Oh my God, it sucks! I love dogs! What kind of...of MONSTER hates dogs? And I was ENGAGED to that monster! It didnt matter we were related! Or even that she didnt have the right amount of horns to tell her gender! SHE HATED DOGS!" The demon cried, even doing little 'boohoos' between breaths. "She was a monster! Im glad she's gone!"

"There there," Cordy soothed, moving closer to comfort.

Angel finally jumped up, walked quickly around his desk to the demon, and shot out an arm, pulling the now weeping Jacob to his feet. He hauled him to the door and tried shoving him out, pasting a ridiculously wide smile on his face. "Alright, well it was nice talking to you. Im glad we got all this settled. Hope we're departing on good terms. Im sorry for your loss. I'll even give you the number of a nice psychiatrist to help you further. Cordelia will show you out. Have a nice night. Take care-!"

Jacob pulled free. "Im still gonna kill you, vampire."

"OY!" Both Angel and Cordy threw their hands into the air and sat back down, looking exasperated.

Jacob just stared, confused, and sat down as well.

Connor rounded the corner, and at seeing the gates to the Hyperion just ahead, put forth a burst of speed and ran faster, checking his watch. Angel had finally let him go vampire-hunting by himself for the first time, Gunn commenting of how it would better his skills, and now it was past 11pm. He was late. REALLY late. Actually, really late, in the words of his father, was ten minutes after ten o'clock. Angel would now of course be furious.

No, Angel would probably be hitting-the-roof-pissed.

And probably staking himself with worry. A mental picture of that almost made the boy laugh.

Connor got nearer and slowed down, trying to think of a good excuse to say. He wasnt going to tell what really happened. Truth was...those vampires had been hard to destroy and those "innocents" he was told to protect turned out to be vampires also. It had been a set-up and he had fallen for it. So, obviously, he wouldnt tell his father that. His pride wouldnt allow him to and the embarrassment would kill him. Angel had finally let him out of his overprotective wings for only an hour, thought to be sending his son out on an easy mission that Cordelia had forseen in her vision, to kill only two newly-made vampires terrorizing a group of college kids, and not only did he botch it up but he had also probably made Angel write out a contract of never allowing him to see the night-life ever again without a proper chaperone.

Connor sighed and continued to walk forward, pushing open the gates-

-That is until he was grabbed from behind, a large cold hand clamped over his mouth to prevent him from yelling, and promptly hefted in the air and slung over a black-jacketed shoulder. His eyes widened in surprise at who had him and he stopped his struggling, bewildered, that is, until he was hauled away from his destination.

Away from the man that could surely end his life and social career in a heartbeat.

He was gonna be SO DEAD.

"Im going to Taco Bell," Cordy jumped up after a while, bored out of her mind. She almost wished the two in front of her would just end the torture and get down to fighting. "You want anything, Angel?"

The immortal just gave her a look. "Vampire, remember?"

Cordy glared at him miffed, then instantly let out a groan, her hand flying to her forehead. "Oh, ooooooh, a vision. Wait, its a big one! I see...I see...a vampire...sitting...sitting here for the next three hours." She dropped the act and crossed her arms, her lips upturned in a frown. "If youre not going to eat, what ELSE are you planning to do? You havent budged an inch in the last forty minutes, so atleast work out your body with some munching, ok? What do you want me to get you?"

"...Three chicken soft tacos. Oh, and MILD sauce, not hot."

"Right. Cause youre not hott. Got it. And you?" She turned to Jacob who shot her a surprised face.

"Uhhh Cordy, he's trying to KILL me..."

Cordelia turned to the vampire. "Yeah, well, he's not doing a very good job of it, now is he? Maybe its because he's hungry, ever think of that?" They stared each other down for a few moments until Angel let out a grand sigh and leaned back in his seat.

"Fine, whatever. Feed the guy that wants to kill me..." he mumbled.

Cordelia glanced back at Jacob, giving a brilliant smile, but the demon only looked up at her, extremely confused and shocked. "You know,...Id be killing you too when Im done with him..."

"All the more reason to have a last meal! I gotta look good when I die, you know. So whaddya want, huh?"

"..."

"Yeeeeeees?" she persisted.

"Er...Cheesy Gordita Crunch..."

"Thats it?"

"Im on a diet."

"Aw why? Youre so thin already!"

Angel just shook his head. "I cant believe this," he murmured to himself. But Cordelia caught the look and was instantly gone, out the door.

Angel and Jacob just glared at each other as the woman practically flew away, until the vampire whipped out his phone again, instantly distracted.

Spike slouched onto the bar stool, throwing the boy he had technically "kidnapped" down on another next to him. Connor blinked at their surroundings confused, then quickly stood to leave. Spike always unnerved him without Angel around. "Im not staying here. I hafta go."

"No, you dont. You can sit right there," the platinum haired vamp retorted then suddenly slammed a palm down on the polished bar, demanding attention. "HEY! Where's some bloody SERVICE around here, EH? Im not getting any younger! Or older for that matter!"

"I have a curfew. Angel's gonna get worried-"

"Youre already late, laddie. And big oafing daddy has no right to put something like that over your head. You grew up in HELL, remember? Hell has no curfews. What are you like an eighteen year?"

"Sixteen," Connor corrected him then turned to leave. "Im going no-"

"No your not." Spike easily grabbed the kid's jacket and shoved him back down on the seat, receiving a feral look of retaliation, but not caring as the bartender came by, drying out a mug. "Grey Goose, on the rocks," Spike told him loudly. He turned back to Connor still in his grip, ignoring the glare. "So sixteen, huh? Wow, shit's luck for you, sonny. Thats five more years you gotta get past. If I were you, Id get something to cope." He looked to the patient bartender again. "Whiskey straight-up for the kid here." Without another word, the guy went off, preparing the drinks. The music pounded faster around them.

"I dont drink," Connor said, face set and eyes hard.

"Sure you do," Spike grinned, buzz still kicking, as he finally lost grip on the boy's jacket. "Every kid drinks. Every living THING drinks. Even DEAD, you drink," he laughed breezily.

"Im not old enough to."

Spike swiveled on the chair to face him more and gave one of his popular 'ARE YOU DUMB?' looks. "Are you KIDDING me? Nobody cares anymore, especially here in L.A. Lad, this is AMERICA." He stretched out the last word. "Free-Speech and Land of Opportunity, remember? Well, remember another thing- You HAVE no free-speech and the only opportunity presented in front of you is DRINKING. So I suggest you never look a gift horse in the eyeballs," he shrugged, not making any sense as the twin glasses of liquor were placed in front of them. He slid the darker liquid over to Angel's son.

Connor just shook his head, pushing it away. "I dont like drinking." It was almost midnight now. His father was gonna KILL him.

"What are you talking about? You've probably never drinkin' before. Like I said, EVERY kid likes to drink. Why, just the other day, I was taking my nightly stroll in the park and came across this really hott blonde thing, dragging along her little toddler that couldntve be more than like FOUR. I looked closely, and YEP, sure enough...THAT kid was shit-faced. Mommy musta been quite mad hauling out her babe from the local pub so I didnt bother with my unique charms..." he trailed off, gulping his drink and slamming it down, as Connor inched away from him with a creeped out look. He had his cell phone on him. If he just called up his dad, asked for a ride home, and explained all this...

"Look," Spike continued, noticing the boy scooting away, then grabbed back onto him to keep him there, "my point is, everybody drinks and its not a bad thing. You seriously need to loosen up." He slumped more over the bar counter now and signaled for another drink. He looked back at Angel's son. "Drink up. Its only whiskey. If you need something to go with it, I'll order you a coke. Wouldnt be very manly of you, but...eh, whatever."

Connor glared at that, almost picking up the glass, but stopped himself, eyes narrowing. If Angel found out he drank... Spike seemed to read his mind. "Are you worried what daddy might think?" Connor's silence answered for him. "You know," the vampire pointed out, happy at his second drink. "Your da' would come up here with me sometimes. Wasnt much of a drinker, but when times called for it, he could put back a few more shots than I thought possible. Used to babble how you were a "chip off the ol' block" and all that rubbish. Never could figure the bloke out," Spike waved his hand around breezily, while raising his glass to his lips.

Connor stared at his own glass, somewhat curiously. Spike caught the look and finished off his own drink with a small smile. He ordered another, this time a rum.

"You know," he pointed to Connor's still-full whiskey glass. "Angel would finish that off in two gulps. Like I said, not much of a drinker. I bet you could in one. I bet you could beat him."

It didnt take much more than that.

Connor could always take his father. They got along now, sure, but he always took pride in surprising the man. And others. He wasnt Angel. He couldnt make Angel proud that way. Connor picked up the drink and gulped it down quickly in less than a second. Even Spike seemed amazed. The vampire looked at him closely, concern almost showing in his depths.

"Do you need a chaser? Some water?"

But Connor vehemently shook his head no, wiping at his mouth and making a disgusted face. The stuff was AWEFUL. And it BURNED. For a second, he almost thought it wouldnt even go down, but with more concentrated swallows, the taste finally left, leaving him with a warm feeling in the back of his throat. He still didnt understand why people drank, especially now that he knew it tasted like THAT.

"Well, Im getting you a water anyways," the bartender suddenly spoke up, appearing out of nowhere. "That face will scare away all my customers." He slid over the water and took the empty glass. "Now what can I get you guys?" Spike got another rum and ordered Connor another whiskey.

"Bet you can last longer than dear-old daddy, too," the vamp smirked, an evil scheme in mind. "I heard youve got great stamina and resistance. It took your old man about ohhh four of those to get slightly tipsy. Why dont we try for that?"

Connor just looked at him, fully aware of what the man was doing, then was suddenly interrupted by classical music coming from his pocket. He pulled out the phone and saw "DAD" spring up across the top screen. Spike just flashed him a smirk.

"Well? You gonna answer it?"

Connor looked at the flashing letters one last time then shoved it back into his pocket, shaking his head with a determined look. He would beat his father and then his father would be proud, like when he had thrown him a punch and connected, cracking Angel's defenses. He wouldnt let this beat him. He would show Angel. And Angel would love him even more. Yeah, when he returned, his father would be proud.

He gulped down the next glass and the next one, followed by another, this time drinking the water in front of him for fear of his throat burning away and the liquor coming back up. He kept forcing back those feelings, though, as Spike kept the drinks coming.

Spike, himself, was layed out over the bar now, head resting his folded arms. He turned his drunken stare to the still-somewhat sober boy next to him. "How tha HELL you not drunk yet? Ive bought you six glasses of purrr whiskey!" he complained, slightly slurring. "You dun even look tipsy!" Connor just shrugged, climbing off the stool as his legs wobbled unsteadily, but thankfully, the blonde vampire hadnt noticed. "Wherr you goin'?"

"Bathroom." Connor tried to walk somewhat steadily off.

"Is he even sloshed yet?" Spike whined to no one in particular, closing his eyes tiredly, but what he thought was less than a second later, he heard a PLOP next to him, and saw the boy sitting there, looking calm but having a slight red tinge to his cheeks. Spike grinned widely and pointed out the evidence.

"Yer gettin' there!" he crowed out, laughing.

"No, Im not," Connor growled out defiantly, now silencing the ringing on his father's phone. It had been going off the whole time.

"Well, you will be. I was right! You do beat your old man!" Connor straightened up proudly hearing that. Spike turned to the bartender, who had been watching them all night, amused. "Double shots, now, my good man! Gimmee the JACK!" The music was now rock and techno mixed, giving the feel of a cult underground. Spike loved it. He didnt think he'd enjoy this night, especially not with Angel's kid, but it was turning out greater than planned. He couldnt WAIT to see the mighty Champion's face when he brought his baby home drunk. That is...if he lasted long enough. Connor was tough, especially for someone who had never drank before. Not even Angel had lasted long in the olden days when they all went out drinking. He'd be conked out by seven and here now was his son, just over babe-hood, calmer than ever, drinking down his 7-8, double shots mind you, not looking the least bit intoxicated, besides the tad bit of pink in his pale cheeks.

The kid could hold his liquor, that was for damn sure.

Spike drank down his own and looked to the boy, who had finished. "Another?"

Connor put down the shot and nodded.

Then SMILED.

Spike reared back in shock. "HOLY GEEZ LOUISE!" Connor just looked at him, confused at his outburst. "Are you drunk?" The vamp studied him closely then smiled REALLY wide. "Youre LOADED, arent ya? I got you drunk! I got you druuuuuunk! I got you druuuuuuuunk!" he taunted, singing and waving his hands in the air.

"No Im not," Connor shook his head to prove his point, then looked at the bartender who was also laughing. "Im not!"

"Youre so drunk! Yessireee! I got the midget dr-!" Spike was suddenly grabbed by two small fists, gripped on tightly to his trenchcoat collar, and hauled to the side and down some ways, coming eye to eye with stormy blue.

"Im. Not. Drunk." Connor ground out quietly. He then quickly let him go and turned to the bartender. "Two more of what we just had...please."

Spike straightened up, huffing. He hoped the kid wasnt one of those violent drunks. That would definitely be shitty times.

But after a couple more drinks, that worry was completely out the window. They must have had atleast 15 shots between themselves and even the bartender was looking pretty surprised, but not at Spike, at the kid. He was used to Spike there every night, building up his tolerance to every liquor they delivered, but this looked to be the boy's first time and with his slight frame, he didnt look strong enough to even HOLD that many, nevermind looking sober.

Spike also stared curiously after the kid as Connor went on another bathroom break again, stumbling slightly to the side.

"Is he going to be alright?" the bartender asked, motioning towards the bathroom.

"Yeah," Spike drawled out dryly. "He takes after but goes FAR BEYOND his father. So...lets raise the stakes a little bit, shall we?" No pun included, he silently laughed. Even his intoxicated mind was warning him no, but the pure pleasure of witnessing Angel's face seeing his beautiful blue-eyed boy completely inebriated was far too strong to ignore. "Single shots only...of 151."

The bartender raised his eyebrows in astonishment. "151? Are you sure? You looking to getting the kid plastered or something?"

"Yeeeah," Spike slurred, looking at the man as if he was doing something wrong. "Why yes I am."

"Errr ok." The guy poured the shots. "Im not giving the kid more than four of these. You can have as many as you want. I hope neither of you are driving tonight."

"'S all hunky-dory, my good man! No car, no worries. We'll probably walk straight there." He laughed at his joke then turned to see Connor back, looking thoroughly disoriented. "Hey there, buddy, you holding up ok? Here, try one of these." He handed over one of the 151s, noticing the bartender stopped his cleaning to watch. Connor downed it then his eyes grew wide as he started coughing violently, reaching for his water. "Yeah, right there is a really powerful thing! Its one of the best!" Spike laughed loudly, clapping a hand to the boy's back as Connor still continued to cough.

Spike had his next two before Connor drank his second, face still grimacing. "Atleastit doesntburn anymore." Spike grinned, hearing the kid's words laced together. Yep, Angel's baby boy was drunk. FINALLY.

"I expect nothing burns anymore, not even if you drank pure fire."

"Wha? Fire burns..." Connor's watery eyes turned to look at the vamp in confusion.

"Well, no kidding, laddie." Spike demonstrated that by pulling out his lighter and holding it to the rim of his full shot glass. When he flicked on the flame, the whole cup went up in fire, burning a bright orange. Connor stared at it, mesmerized, before Spike blew it out, downing the shot soon after. Spike just grinned, seeing his face. "Thats right, Uncle Spike is awesome. Dont forget to tell everybody. Now drink up. Im getting sober here waiting for you to catch up. You only have two left."

"Two?"

"Yeah. I dont want you dead on me. Daddy will hit the roof enough as it is."

"Ima na drunk!"

Spike smiled thinly. "I didnt say you were."

Connor drank his last two quickly then promptly stood up, cheeks red and eyes going wide as he tried to walk. The music had turned to rock now and most the people that littered the bar looked completely trashed. As he got closer to the bathroom, he bumped into somebody. And that somebody crashed to the floor heavily as if hit by a sumo wrestler. Connor stood back for a second, watching and giggling. He then pushed the swinging bathroom door open and walked in, STILL GIGGLING.

"OK THEN!" Spike slammed his palms down, smiling triumphantly. "The kid's GONE!"

"In more ways than one," the bartender commented, almost worriedly.

"Yeah, yeah, TIME TO GET SPIKE SHIT-FACED!" And the bartender simply smiled, already fully prepared. He handed the vampire his much awaited, and already paid for in advance, full bottle of cheap, tasty, Canadian-imported whiskey.

Spike was going France's way tonight.

Angel was practically mauling the napkin with his teeth in worry as his son didnt pick up his call for the 40th time in the last hour, shredding the little white square paper in his hands and grumbling in annoyance, when both his employee and the guy that wanted to kill him looked over with questioning gazes.

"He's always like this when it comes to his son," Cordy whispered to the demon as the vampire became even more erratic when he dialed again and wasnt answered.

"Vampires can have children?"

"Well..." She bit her lip, choosing her next words carefully. "Its not COMMON, but...Yeah, lets stay off this subject," she said quickly, catching sight of Angel's glare.

The two were silent again as they watched the frantic vampire take out his frustrations on random things around his desk, until Cordy turned back to Jacob, her face beaming with excitement.

"So! Tell me how youre gonna kill Angel!"

"'Seat taken?" came a gruff voice from the intoxicated vampire's right, at the moment sprawled out practically across the whole counter, much to the bartender's annoyance. Spike tried to look up, keyword being 'tried' even though his immortal body filled with liquor protested at such strong motivations, so the platinum man gave up, lowering his head. "Mmm ya, by me youthfully wasted frien' yonder, mateeeeyyy. Dun sea' ya arse- pull up a fuckin' chair." He smirked as his accent started to pop out heavily, even though, to his ears, it sounded slightly...Australian. What the fuc-

"Fuck you then, Im sitting. Now its my chair," the regular's harsh tone replied, interrupting the vampire's babbling thoughts, and Spike finally looked over, a grimace of anger hitting him hard. He blamed it on the whiskey. Unless in the chippiest of moods, whiskey could always lead to a bar fight or two. Techno and whiskey. Yep, it equaled bar brawls in his book.

"You goth or somethin'?"

"Transylvanian," the vampire smirked, showing his teeth. His BLUNT teeth.

Suddenly, a small hand was slapped onto the biker-looking drunk's shoulder, and he whirled, seeing a confused but red-faced and happy Connor peeking over at the vampire, smiling ridiculously wide and eyes watery. "You letem take ma'seat," the boy pouted, then turned to the new face. "Hi," he grinned innocently, shocking the man. Liquor practically permeated out of the kid's pores.

"Fucking hell, the boy's drunk!"

Connor frowned, trying to maintain some control in his voice. "Tha' za bad word. Ma dad says never ta use it. Makes ya weak."

Spike took a swig of his whiskey, smirking. "_Fuck Fuck Fuckety Fuck Fuck Fucky Fuck_. Doncha watch teeeveee, kiddie? The word's everywhere. An' swearin's the LEAST of ya worries in this city." Connor's eyes narrowed but his drunken smile was still in full-effect.

And Spike had worries of his own, also. Connor was now leaning heavily, or as heavy as a small sixteen year old body could achieve, on the nostril-flaring and more than slightly agitated burly-set man, whose round eyes bugged out as if he couldnt believe the audacity of the youth. Spike groaned, already predicting the next events.

The man suddenly whirled around, jolting the boy, eyes sharp and raging. "Get off me and get yourself a new fucking seat, brat! This here is MINE!" He grabbed Connor roughly and pushed him back, the vampire offspring, being thoroughly inebriated, almost toppling over as he flew back a few feet. He shook his head, disoriented, as he heard Spike speak up, voice deeper than normal.

"Ya shouldntve done tha', mate."

"What, you gonna do something about it? Kid needs his daddy protecting him?"

Spike let out a scoffing laugh, hunching over more. "' Lad can 'old 'is own," he said, accent coming in thick. "An' I aint 'is da'. If he were 'ere, you'd be a sittin' carcass where ya arse lay."

Connor shook his head once more, shoving dark bangs to the side as everything spun, his legs wobbling. His acute hearing was being troubled by the loud bass of the music and everything blurred as he tried to catch his bearings, trying to understand what had happened just moments before. Everything felt fuzzy and he couldnt move or talk right, but he was happy, very happy, and almost ashamed as he laughed at everything spinning in front of him.

But he was also angry. Anger rushed up all too quickly as he remembered what was going on. Spike was chatting away with a man that had touched him- grabbed him and threw him to the side as if he was nothing. No vampire could catch him off guard like that and Connor now felt thankful his father had not burst through the doors right then and there, witnessing a mere human pushing his son around. Connor wouldnt be able to live with that, knowing the immortal had seen him being bullied by someone weaker than him. His pride wouldnt allow him to get over it.

Hectic voices to his side broke through his rampaging thoughts, and he concentrated on them, almost grateful for the distraction, as he steadied his swaying body.

"NO, NOT PERHAPS! Dont fall into the pit of temptation!" He saw one man, thin and skeletal with wide dilated eyes, dressed in tight leather clothes, screaming at another man, who was kind of big and buff, wearing a raggedy jean outfit. "THERE IS NO LADDER! THERE IS NO FRIDGE! ONLY A HOLE, FRANK! A HOLE! Its like one giant hoolahoop, but with a BAG! And in that bag is a rabbit thats laughing its fluffy little ass off at you when you fall in and empty your pockets!" Now the man was trembling as he spoke, fingers moving around erratically.

The bigger man just looked at him like he was nuts. "What in the blazes are you talking about, you crackpot! All I want is a beer! Let me get my GOD-FORSAKEN BEER for Pete's sake!" Frank made a move to the bar but the smaller man reached a skinny pale arm out, stopping him.

"NO! DONT WALK! DONT DO IT! The rabbit wants to get into your HOLES, Frank! Its CRAZY! Ur HOLES, man! Like youre in ITS hole and you cant get out, cant get out, you gotta get OUT man, gotta get OUT! GET OUT-!"

"WHAT THE HELL YOU ON!" Frank suddenly shrieked, going ballistic, as he wrenched his arm free and promptly slugged the man upside the head. Others rose to witness the fight as Connor stepped back, shocked.

He looked to the bartender, who was calmly watching the scene, absently drying out a glass mug. "Does this happen all tha' time?" He was satisfied when he understood his own words.

The bartender nodded, looking unperturbed. "Its common."

"And you allow it? Its...ok?"

"Meh," the bartender shrugged.

"Yessiree tha' lad is a thinker," Spike was babbling away, shaking a finger in front of the now infuriated man, but not at all taking notice. "Likes ta go on hunts, too. An' he's smart enough ta know when he's down an' beat'n. Why, even goin' up against me, the very soul tha' kidnapped and brought 'im here," the burly man's eyes widened at hearing that, "he knew there were no wins an' escapes, unlike 'is stupid oaf of a da', tha 'CHAMPION', yeah, champion ma arse, ba tha way, who wouldve attempted ta shimmy 'is clunkerin' body up a friggin' drainpipe ta ge' away, not tha' he COULD, with tha' fat arse draggin' be'in'-" His words were halted as the angry man he had just been talking to suddenly lurched to the side with a /WHAM/ and a grunt of pain, falling clear off the stool. Spike looked up to see Connor standing there, fist still raised, and looking triumphant,...if not still shit-faced on his feet.

Music was pounding away all around.

"Well done, lil matey. Wanker was borin' me 'nyways." Spike took another drunken chug of his bottle before noticing his space was quickly being stolen, shadows crowding around.

"How 'bout we give you some fun, Brit?" a new voice rang out, clearly the ringleader. He turned to see Angel's kid facing a group of maybe ten rough looking men, all holding themselves menacingly. Loud commotions were raging behind them and the vampire noticed almost everybody within the bar was fighting amongst themselves, save the nice ten gentlemen that had saved themselves for the lone English soul.

And Connor, if the boy even counted, but Spike highly doubted it.

He capped his bottle of whiskey and put it on the floor, under his stool, muttering the first words that came to mind.

"Bloody 'ell."

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE!" Angel yelled. He had been pacing a hole in the red carpet for over an hour, cell phone clutched tightly in his hand. "WHAT THE HELL COULD HE POSSIBLY BE DOING AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT! DOESNT HE KNOW HOW WORRIED I AM!" He raged, stomping around the room. "IF HE'S NOT IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE, HE'S GOING TO BE WHEN HE COMES BACK HERE-OH MY GOD! WHAT HAPPENS IF HE'S IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE-!"

"I think Im going to go now," Jacob said calmly, standing up and offering a hand to the woman next to him. "Its been a pleasure. Im sorry if I caused any unwanted attention here. If you ever get the time...well...here." He handed her a card with his number on it, slightly blushing in the process.

She smiled graciously, ignoring her still ranting boss behind them, and handed the demon her own card. "Im sorry, but youre sort of out of my range of species. Dont take it personally, Im not racist," she answered easily, being disarmingly honest. "And here's my number. If you ever feel like you want to kill Angel again- I understand the need, by the way- then just call me up and I'll talk you out of it, ok?" He nodded, looking perplexed, but bid goodbye just the same.

When he was gone, Cordelia turned back to her bellowing boss and blew the whistle on him-literally. "Hold it, hold it, Angel! Hold on! Whats going on now? Whats got you so upset?"

"He wont answer any of my calls! Connor was supposed to be back HOURS ago! I only wanted him gone until-" He abruptly shut his mouth, glowering, and seated himself heavily back into his chair, running a pale hand through his gelled hair. Cordelia smiled knowingly.

"So you knew all along about Jacob, huh?" She stated with a soft glow in her eyes. "You KNEW he was coming here tonight, didnt you?"

"Who said I did?" Angel played off innocent.

"I do, because you were strangely enough trying to get Connor away from here and YOU all night long. That doesnt happen unless somebody out there's got 'BLOODTHIRSTY REVENGE- OUT 2 KILL ANGEL AND ANYBODY HE LOVES' written all over their foreheads...Not that you had to worry, of course. Jacob was more of a creampuff than anything else. Hey, but why am I still here?"

Angel ignored that question. "Yeah, well, now I want my son BACK home where its SAFE. Im...Im going to look for him. I shouldve done this hours ago." He stood up, but Cordy quickly reached out and forced him back down into the leather seat.

"Wait, wait, Angel. You know I would never tell you what to do when it came to Connor's welfare, but you could be working yourself up over nothing here." She silenced him with a hand held up as he opened his mouth to protest. "Just listen to me, ok? He's sixteen. Just give him a half an hour-"

"I have! He was supposed to be back at ten- now its almost one AM!"

"How about you give him another ca-"

"48 times, Cordy! Ive called him 48 times already!" (A/N: daaaaamn, haha)

"Look, Angel," she sighed, sitting down herself. "We all know how much you love him- we love him too, but we also know you've been hovering over him too much lately. You wont let him out of your sight! That takes a toll on a teenager after a while..."

Angel's eyes widened. "What are you saying? He ran away?" He looked like he was ready to bolt for the door, but Cordelia held him in place yet again.

"No, no, Im just saying since you finally let him out on his own tonight, he's probably only enjoying the small chance he has to be by himself." Se looked quickly up at the clock. "And...forgetting the time," she nodded, sounding slightly apprehensive herself, "but still, its more than likely youre..." She picked her words carefully, seeing the sudden dangerous look in the vampire daddy's eyes. "...overexaggerating things a bit."

"Then why hasnt he answered any of my calls?" Angel ground out, trying to control his temper.

"Maybe he hasnt heard them. It could be loud wherever he's at-"

"He's too young to get into clubs, Cordelia."

"Just keep calling. Im sure he'll answer when he's ready."

Suddenly, Gunn burst into the room, bags in hand and a thin and mousy Fred under his arm. "Hey! Anybody up for some Chinese?" Angel just glowered, flipping open his phone again and Cody sighed, shaking her head at the couple.

Gunn raised his eyebrows, bewildered by the sight. "What? What did I say?"

_****_

_/RING RING/ _Over the sounds of a drunk lady singing EMO karaoke in the background, people screaming as they punched the living daylights out of each other, and bar stools flying overhead to soundly knock out stumbling drunks beside him, Connor couldnt believe he actually heard the small device go off in his pocket.

He couldve sworn he put it on vibrate...

Stumbling as he reached into his pocket, he at first tried to control his blurry and spinning vision, before he looked to the flashing words on the screen.

DAD

Red-faced, Connor smiled widely as he saw the blinking blue lights on the phone. He flipped it open and steeled his voice, hoping he sounded ok...

Then was slammed from behind- him, the phone, and his attacker sliding harshly across the bar's floor.

"It sounded like he picked up for a second there..." Angel looked at his phone, confused, as it read CALL ENDED. He glanced up at the trio from his desk, giving them all a hesitant frown. "What...does that mean?"

"It means he hung up your white vampire as-"

"-No, what Charles means is...the reception is bad wherever he is," Fred interrupted quickly, shooting her boyfriend the EVIL EYE. Gunn held up his hands in surrender. "Keep trying. If he picked up the first time, he'll pick up the second."

The vampire nodded and redialed for the 50th time, but shook his head glumly when his son didnt answer.

"Again," Fred urged, even as Cordelia yawned, closing her eyes.

And Angel did so, eyes alighting and body tense as the phone call was finally answered. "Connor?" There was alot of commotion in the background, but he tuned it out, and tried again. "Connor?"

_"Who's this?"_ came out a gruff voice from the other end, clearly not his sixteen year old boy.

Angel's eyes narrowed. "Who's THIS?"

_"I asked first, buddy."_

"Where's my son!" Angel all-but yelled into the phone, growing angrier by the second. If the guy on the other end had done something to him...

_"'Son'? 'Bout 5'4, though I cant really see properly from here,"_ the man laughed,_ "skinny build, brown hair, blue eyes, too damn pretty for his own good, holdin' this here phone two minutes ago? That your kid?"_

"..." Angel gripped the phone, hearing a small crack and not trusting his voice.

_"I'll take that as a yes. Well then, he's right here!" _

A pause.

_"...Right here under ma boots!"_

Gunn instantly leapt across the room and held the enraged vampire in place as Angel erupted, jumping to his feet, snarling into the phone. "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD! TOUCH MY SON AND I'LL KILL YOU!"

The other end only laughed. _"Im already touching hi- WHA? WHAT THE-! FUCKIN' BRAT! OOMF! ARRRGH!"_ There were sounds of a scuffle and lots of commotion in the background as Angel's chest heaved in rage, his body staggering while he tried to collect his bearings through the red haze of fury. He listened intently though as a fight seemed to go on in the background.

A crackling went over the phone and suddenly...

_"He's lyin'! Don' listen to him, Dad!"_

"C-Connor?" His eyes widened and everybody crowded around him, trying to listen in. "Connor, are you ok? Who was that? Where are you?" He shot out quickly, his hands shaking. "Im coming to pick you up! Just tell me-"

_"Hiiiiiii Daaaaddyyyy!"_

"C-Connor?"

Cordelia just gave the vampire a look, hearing everything since she was so close and it was awefully loud on the other end, then turned to Gunn who was trying to lean in close to. "Since when does Connor call Angel 'daddy'?" she whispered, but the vampire waved them silent, shooting everybody an annoyed glare.

"Connor, where are you?"

_"Ummmmm I dunno,"_ the boy laughed over the phone, sounding strange.

What did he MEAN he didnt know, Angel thought in a panic. "Connor, what happened? Whats wrong?"

_"Nuthin' nuthin'. You worry SOOOOOOOO much!"_ Another giggle then a large intake of breath. _" I beacha, Dad!"_

"W-What? Connor, just find out where you are and let me pick you up-"

_"I. Beat. You. Dad." _His grin could practically be heard over the connection. _"I beacha ya! Spike said I be-"_

"Spike? Spike's there with you? Put him on the phone!" the vampire ordered, wincing when it came out harsher than he intended, but his son ignored him, talking in a strangely...delighted voice again.

_"I beat ya, so now you can love me more, Daddy!"_

The commotion in the background was getting almost too loud to hear properly, but Angel caught what the boy said to him and sat down in shock, resting his head on the top of the chair and looking up at the ceiling as he tried to speak calmly and carefully. "What are you talking about?" he whispered harshly into the phone as everybody, gathered around, dispersed to different sections of the office. "I already DO love you, Connor-"

_"Not as much as I love you!"_ The boy cheerfully stated...in that voice. There was something wrong with his son, but he couldnt place it... And the words his child was saying...He should be happy...He should be walking on air and overjoyed beyond comprehension, but...

Connor NEVER bluntly said his feelings to the vampire before.

"Connor-"

_"I love you SOOOOO MUCH, Daddy! I never wanted ta tell ya but I love you SOOOOO MUCH!"_

A feeling of dread swirled in the vampire's stomach as he leaned forward and put his head in his hands, speaking slowly into the phone. "Connor, whats wrong? Please tell me."

_"SOOOOO MUCH!"_

"Please, son-"

_"Daddy-"_ There was a crash and a sound of something falling, but Connor's abnormally bubbly voice flowed out of the speaker again, giggling. _"LOVE YOU SOOOOOO-Hey! Its Spike!" _

Even though Angel could hear the rock music in the background pounding away loudly, he could clearly make out a familiar nasally drawl he knew all too well. There was a sound of the phone switching holders and Spike's voice floating through the device, muffled and low, as if he was trying to cover up the mouthpiece. _"Is this thingy on? Who ya talkin' to, lad?...SHIT! Its tha bloody 'champion' himself! He didn' hear ya, did he? Bloody 'ell!"_

Angel clutched the phone harder to his ear, almost painfully, and growled. "Spike..."

_"Ah...'ello! Before ya go smokin' mad on my arse, ya gotta know tha-"_

"Spike, whats wrong with my son! And WHERE is he!"

_"Uh...Nuthin's wrong! I brough' 'im along ta 'ang wi' me an' some of ma chums! An' uhhhh nuthin' to see 'ere! I mean 'ear here. He's fine! He's fine, Angel! I'll bring 'im 'ome safe an' sound. No worries, ma good matey!"_

"Spike-"

_"Ah! The kiddie's gettin' outta ma eyes! Gotta go!"_

"S-Spike!" There was static.

FAKE static, Angel knew all too well.

_"He's fine!"_

"SPIKE!" The line went dead. Angel stared at the phone that lay prone in his hand then back up at his friends, that once again, crowded around with matching curious looks. Fred was the first to speak up.

"S-So... is Connor ok?"

Angel just shook his head, eyes wide as he stared at his phone again. "I dont know. I dont even know what the hell that was!"

_****_

Spike clicked the phone shut, hanging up on the boy's overprotective father, and passed it back to the kid as he lit up a smoke. "And THA' is tha number one thin' ya DON' do when drinkin' with Uncle Spike. Ya NEVER answer a phone. Its tha BIGGEST no-no in tha book, mate."

Connor looked up at the vampire, still pink-faced and wearing a wide drunken smile, even as he took in the condition of the older man. Spike was sporting a blackened eye and a split lip, blood trickling lazily down to his chin.

Connor, however, was fine.

"Wha' happened ta you?"

"Bloody bastard caugh' me good. Whiskey slows me like bulls tryin' ta drag a shitty coup. Good times, though, eh?"

The fight they had started quickly escalated to a full out brawl, the group that started the damage either ran for the hills or called in back-up. It was such a blur, Spike almost hadnt known who he was fighting anymore. One guy came and flew to be followed shortly after by another. And in between breaks, he had reached for his bottle, taking swigs as he watched the kid curiously fight. Angel's son was a tough ball of energy to handle, especially when drunk. Anybody that had come close to him, he had punched, then got smacked around himself, only to jump up and thoroughly kick the person's ass without a second thought.

Until he had gotten jumped from behind and stepped on.

Spike felt a flash of fury remembering it, but the boy had proved his worth. Connor had tripped the big man and knocked him out with a mighty kick to the head, dusting his hands off and grabbing his phone that had clattered to the floor.

The ordeal had died down for a second, people finally realizing they were a little bit too drunk as of now to actually put on a good show, so many had slugged each other and fallen, preferring to lounge on the floor to catch their breaths.

Next to him, Connor stumbled onto a stool, looking bright eyed and not a bit worn-out. Spike reached for his whiskey again under his own seat and gave a look to the bartender, still calmly drying out mugs. "Rum for my young chum here." The vampire then sauntered off, dragging his bottle and stool with him.

"What you gonna do?" the boy questioned, blinking confused.

"What I shoulda done a long time ago when I firs' got 'ere."

XXXXDESTROYwait, no, 

_"SHE",_ Spike cleared his throat into the mike, trying to atleast sound somewhat sober as he read from the small piece of paper in his hand.

_"Who casts her glow aside._

_My love_

_My wishes_

_My wants_

_My fears_

_She keeps them burning eternal._

_As she throws them in the fire-"_

There was a scream from his right and something was thrown, hitting the mike and falling to the floor with a crash. "'EY! IM BEIN' POETIC 'ERE!" Spike yelled out, shooting glares at anybody that stared back. He turned back to his words.

_"I doubt her gaze_

_She doubts my soul-"_

"SHUDDUP!" A gruff and drunken command shot out from a corner.

"FUCK YOU, YA BLOODY WANKER!" Spike took another chug from his bottle and continued in his somber voice.

_"Never will we know_

_What was brighter than the sun_

_The very thing that destroys-"_

"GE'OFF THE STAGE, FAG!" Another glass came at him, but this time shattered on the wall behind him. "PUT ON SOME MUSIC!" And somebody in the back must have obliged, because rock music again blared out from the speakers at the vampire's side, further pissing him off.

"Thats IT!" Spike yelled, jumping off the stage. "No more bloody fuckin' aroun'!"

And he promptly waltzed over to the man that had called him a fag and slugged him in the face.

Connor raised an eyebrow, quickly downed his drink, and simply punched the biker next to him in the stomach.

Shocked silence.

Until the bartender coughed.

Everybody stood up.

The brawl was on again.

Connor properly beat another guy as the music blared around him.

More guys toppled over or went flying as Spike lifted any stool he saw over his head and smashed it into the people coming at him with fists raised. Other men opted for their own weapons, flicking out switchblades and butterflies, but the vampire was ready for them, using empty or sometimes full glasses of liquor as ammo, wincing as the alcohol ran down their yelling bodies, wasted. He then picked them up and slammed them down onto tables, watching with a smirk as they sailed across to the floor to land in a heap there.

_"LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"_

Connor ducked wildly-aimed punches and skidded around rushing bodies, kicking people's legs out from under them as he darted past, then with one swift move each, he swept up between random 2-men fighting teams and slugged each guy squarely in the necks, eliciting high-pitched and rather girly shrieks of pain.

Seeing how he fought, most backed away, clearly intimidated, but that didnt matter to him. He raced for the ones trying to creep away, liquor quickly strumming through his system, and eagerly beat them bloody, throwing them to the floor when he was done.

_"ONE-NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!"___Spike punched two guys at the same time, easily throwing them away.

_"TWO-NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!"___Others followed suit, all being forcefully smashed into walls or over tables.

_"THREE-NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!"_ People languidly walked in to drink...then quickly ran out, seeing the pandemonium.

_"FOUR-NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!"___Spike grinned, feeling the rush as he punched another biker, smoke still placed between laughing lips.

_"ONE-SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!"___Connor giggled playfully at a big man taunting him with a knife...then calmly reached over the bar's counter and grabbed a bottle, expertly throwing it at the man's head and knocking him out with a /WHAM/.

_"TWO-SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!"___The boy turned away with a smile, laughing still as everything in front of him danced and spun.

_"THREE-SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE!"___Both vampire and Miracle Child moved together, backs touching as they teamed up...and threw out matching feral grins to the enraged men surrounding them.

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!"_

The bar brawl intensified to a full-out rumble as random men ran in to help buddies and the cops were called to produce some sort of order while two people stumbled away into the night from out a back-door, howling with glee and laughing gaily at their fun times, one clutching a half-empty whiskey bottle and the other, his phone, tight in his hand.

As they sauntered thoroughly boozed down the street, laughing at everything and anything around them, arms slung around each other to secretly hold them up, a large clunker of a car passed by then stopped, backing up.

"HEY!" A loud but friendly voice called out.

"HEY!" Spike retaliated, walking up to it and dragging the giggling kid with him.

"HEY!" The driver yelled again, grinning. Connor recognized him as Frank from the bar- Spike recognized him as the man he gave a shiner to earlier. That didnt stop them both from smiling though.

"HEY!" Spike brightened even further.

"HEY!" The occupants of the car now trilled out, drunkenly.

"HEY!" Both the vampire and the boy grinned, practically waving.

"Needa ride?" Frank smiled, showing crooked teeth.

"Mate, I beat yer arse earlier in there-"

"Doesnt matter no more. Getton in! Im a generous fellow."

"YEAH YOU ARE!" The whole car crowed.

And before Spike knew it, they were pulled in and blazing down the roads of L.A., four people wasted in the back and three people equally plastered up front, including the driver, who seemed to be holding up better, though, than the rest of them.

The lady up front, though, seemed to think otherwise as she leaned forward from her seat in a man's lap and looked closely at Frank, narrowing her watery eyes.

"Are you SURE yer ok to drive?" She slurred slightly, then laughed and leaned back as she heard her own voice. "WOW, Im trashed."

"Yes, you are," Frank grinned. "And yeah, Im fine. You should know me by now, Gretchen."

"How long you been drinkin'?"

"Since I was 7," Frank laughed.

"Thats not what I meant and you know it!"

"Yeah, yeah. And since 7. 7PM. I havent stopped, though." He held up an almost full bottle of the Jack. "Here be a TRUE alcoholic, my good men and ladies! Look upon my glowing figure and weep!" He then turned on some late-night 80s music- it was Queen-, laid one hand on the wheel while the other gripped tightly around his Jack Daniel's bottle, and started singing at the top of his lungs.

_"WOW I feel like dying!_

_Woohoowoohoowoohoo!_

_And I feel like crying!_

_Boohooboohooboohoo!_

_I kinda have a hangover!_

_Hungoverhungoverhungover!_

_But atleast now I am SOBER!_

_ImSOBERImSOBERImSOBER!"_

_"BOOHOOBOOHOOBOOHOO!" _The occupants in the car then sang along, save the two new riders who just watched as the bottle was chugged from then passed to the next singer.

The man that was currently being used as a human seat.

_"I met a woman, she was a MAN_

_Didnt find out 'til she was on the can_

_Hopefully died of an overdose_

_So glad Im not gay but came very close!" _He, then, took his swig and passed it. The lady, who Spike now realized was an obvious lesbian, was next.

_"I need some money_

_Give it up give it up!_

_And I need some alky_

_In a cup in a cup!_

_Would you believe that whore_

_She left me at the door_

_So I now settle the score_

_She ends up pissed and poor" _She took her shot and passed the bottle behind her to one of the guys on Spike's right.

_"I went 2 jail without no baaaail_

_Facing life without my wiiiiiiife_

_Such a favor for my labor_

_Couldve killed sooner without THAT strife!"_ He then hit the bottle and passed it to the other guy.

_"Beer is Queer_

_Kuz liquor is quicker_

_Drink with your pals_

_Please dont bicker_

_An ex shows up_

_Juuuuuust kick her!_

_Everclear after makes you sicker!"_ He took his swig. "So go whiskey! Yeah!" The car cheered with him as he passed the Jack to Spike, who was actually bored with the whole charade but also too drunk to care anyways.

_"In ma pocket was tha brandy_

_Pills in bags I pop like candy_

_Whatever it may be_

_Jus' give it all ta meeeee!_

_Don' go out an' drink!_

_You'll puke up inna sink!_

_But a'least all tha' liquor you got fer FREEEEEEE!"_ That got a few laughs out of the group and he took a large drink before passing the bottle to Connor.

The boy, who had been laughing along with everybody else, grin spread out on his still very much intoxicated features, quickly LOST that smile and instantly turned stone-faced when presented with the opportunity of making a melody.

"I dun sing," he slurred out, eyes narrowed, but grabbed the bottle anyways and took a very unhealthily large gulp, one that even Frank was in awe of.

The Hyperion doors blasted open and the two stumbled in, laughing and belting notes off together as they staggered down the stairs.

Yes, even Connor, now so drunk he could barely walk or see straight.

_"Then I got hauled off to tha countryyyyyy," _Spike trilled out loudly, swinging his bottle to and fro.

_"OOWOP OOWOP!"_ Connor provided the background lyrics, almost toppling over as he giggled crazily, but Spike held on to him tightly, while raising his bottle like it was his god, singing as if it were the last thing he'd ever do.

Angel would see to that, of course.

_"Lookin' fer love but only foun' ma auntyyyyyy."_

_"OOWOP OOWOP!"_

_"But would ya believe ma luck! She also had a DUCK!"_ They both laughed hearty HAHAHAAAAs, grinning at each other.

_"An' tha rest is what we call HIStoryyyyyy!"_ Spike spun, bringing the kid with him, and they laughed and giggled and floundered about, looking almost hysterical with drunken mirth, until they both collapsed on a large red couch, instantly spent, but Connor still giggled madly, almost leaning on the still-drinking vampire as he reached for the bottle being tipped into an open mouth.

"Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike," he whined, getting to his knees on the couch to lean farther over.

"Youve 'ad enough, lil one," Spike admonished with a glance as he continued to take swigs.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease?" He saw the vampire still then give a small grin, and followed the older man's gaze, trying to will everything to stop spinning and bring his surroundings into focus again. His eyes first landed on the green demon, Lorne, who had been sitting there, shocked, just across from them the whole time, a book laying open in his lap, unread, then to all of his father's friends- save the really smart one, Wes, who was nowhere in sight- who were crowded around with equally surprised looks, then finally, his eyes traveled to, and lit up at, the sight of the dark clad man standing in the doorway of his office, arms crossed and glare smoldering.

A glare only directed at the other vampire in the hotel.

"I dont have to be psychic to know what the hell YOU guys were doing all night..." Lorne commented, putting away the book.

"Bloody terrific," Spike grumbled, turning away and sinking lower into the couch, but the Miracle Child didnt share in his thinking or even understand what was going on around him for that matter as he jumped unsteadily to his feet and raced forward.

"Daaadddyyy!" Angel's eyes widened and he looked like he was about to run and catch his reeling son, but Connor was on him in a second, small thin arms trying to entangle themselves frantically around his father's waist through the large thick coat the vampire wore, and head snuggling down securely on a broad chest as he tightened his hold and breathed in the man's scent, content and overly happy with just being so close to him.

Happy. So happy. The vampire touching him made him almost cry for more. Never before had they been this close. Angel had clapped cold hands on his back occasionally and they always managed a few hugs that ended too quick, but that was only because he never WANTED the closeness. He never wanted his father's touch. And he knew Angel knew that, too.

So now, being in a happily intoxicated and distorted mindset, he gathered up more courage and tightened his hold on the undead body in his arms, straining to hear a sound from within but not being at all disappointed when he heard nothing. Everything was amazing and ok, even more so when he felt strong arms loop around his smaller body in return. "Im so happy yer here, dad!" He gave off another sparkling smile, looking up finally to a concerned face.

"Where else would I be?" Came a gentle reply.

"I dunno..." Connor quickly gained a sad look, but shrugged it away and plastered another inebriated laughing grin on his pale features. "Away." He went back to smothering his face into a black jacket.

"Connor...youre drunk." Angel brought his giggling boy closer and ran a hand through his hair, trying to catch those brilliant blue eyes he longed to look into again.

"I know," Connor snuggled more forcefully now as Angel sighed and hugged him protectively to his unbeating body. "But I only did it so I could beat you. So you would love me more. I wanna love you. I wanna tell you. I want you to tell me."

"Connor...Connor, I-"

"Spike said I beat you!" Connor now turned to the platinum head with a face-splitting grin, who was now only sipping on his dark bottle and looking more pale than usual.

Angel followed his son's gaze, training a dangerous glare on the other vampire. "Spike, how much did you give him?"

"I had alot!" Connor piped up, leaning back now to rest against his father's embrace.

"Spike...how much?"

"I...don' remember."

"24," Connor said suddenly, looking up at his vampire father with adoring eyes. "He bought me 24, dad!"

"Who the BLOODY 'ELL keeps track when drinkin'?" Spike groused out, looking shocked and peeved.

"I had alot," Connor giggled.

"24?" Angel blinked, his brain not comprehending, but then..."TWENTY-FOUR?" He exploded, eyes growing wide.

"And alot in tha' car...I beacha, dad!" Connor turned back around to continue hugging. "Spike said I did!"

"Connor, go upst-...Im taking you upstairs!"

"Stairs?" The boy whined. "Why stairs? I dun like stairs, dad! I cant get up 'em anyways," he giggled. "Up stairs, down stairs, over stairs, under stairs, AROUND stairs...STAIRS SUCK!"

"Connor!" Angel tried to hold his son steadily out in front of him but the boy wiggled free and brushed off the firm hands, clutching his father's waist tighter and burrowing his head deeper into the leather jacket.

Cordelia walked past, shaking her head, Lorne trailing behind her while motioning for the young couple to follow suit. "You are one dead vampy, Spike," she commented, before climbing the stairs.

"Im already dead here, love, an' why isn' anybody takin' ma side inta some consideration? Im tha one tha' paid fer it all, ya know-"

"You forgot," Connor laughed.

"Wha?"

"You forgot to when we left," he slurred while still being held in his father's arms.

"Oh." He suddenly grinned. "Well, nevermin' then."

"Dad, dun blame him!" Connor looked up again, eyes blinking rapidly as everything still spun. Angel steadied him, worried. "There was a biiiiiiiig fight and he...he...I forgot what I was gonna say!" He laughed again. "I love you SOOOOOOO MUCH, Daddy! You love me, too, right?"

"Connor-"

"SOOOOOOO MUCH! LOVE YOU SOOOO-" And he was out. Angel gasped as he grabbed his dropping son and lifted him back to his chest.

"'Bout bloody time! Iron stomach, I tell ya-"

"Spike, when I get back down..." Angel threatened, eyes sparking with fury as he hefted his unconscious son, bridal-style, into his arms. "When I get back down, Spike..." His voice shook with rage as he discontinued his sentence, turning away with a growl, and climbing the staircase slowly and gently.

Spike just shrugged then without a second thought, bolted into a standing position, all the more eager to just run out the building, but when he took his first steps, he faltered and collapsed haphazardly over the couch, wincing and rubbing his throbbing head.

"Bloody 'ell!"

After taking off his son's jacket and shoes and putting him to bed, Angel marched down the stairs, a figure of blazing authority and supremacy. He didnt speak as he strode over to the couch across from the platinum-haired man or even as he sat down, glaring icily at his long-time "acquaintance."

Spike swallowed nervously, not making a sound, and four peeping-toms from above watched on, anxiously.

"Im listening, Spike."

"Listenin' ta what?"

"To whatever excuse youre going to throw at me. Make it good."

"Look, I was only-"

"What the hell made you decide to take him to a bar? Are you out of your fucking mind?" Angel asked coldly. He hadnt blown up yet.

Not yet.

"He's only sixteen, Spike. He shouldnt be anywhere NEAR places like that."

"I did your kiddie a favor, ya know-"

"WHAT?" Angel yelled. God himself must have been holding the older vampire back from throttling the other man in the room.

"When I grabbed the lad, tha' demon was still 'ere! Wha' were ya doin', entertainin' 'im with cookies, man?"

Angel blinked, trying to control his tense body. "You knew? You knew about Jacob?"

From up above, Gunn looked over at Lorne questioningly. "Who's Jacob?"

Lorne just shrugged, listening in still.

"Knew tha' some demon was afta your arse fer offin' 'is partna? Why yes, yes I did. I saved the kid's pretty lil bum by takin' 'im ta tha' bar, I'll 'ave ya know."

"And how is that? Just LOOK at you!" Angel indicated to the other's healing scrapes as he jumped up and started pacing. "He was safer with me! Jacob turned out to be nothing at all."

"Who the hell is Jacob?" Gunn asked again, this time to Fred, who ignored him and just watched below.

"I didn' know so not ma problem, mate."

"It IS, Spike. You're far more controlled now than when you were when you walked in here!"

"Sadly," Spike let his forlorn eyes linger on the bottle next to him. It was true. Vampires always lost their buzz quickly. Spike's drunken haze was already diminishing.

"Well, my son's not! He's HUMAN, Spike! Well, sort of... A human kid! There's a REASON why children arent supposed to drink! What the HELL were you thinking?" He ranted, shoving his hands in the air. "And what 'car' was he talking about anyways? You dont have a car!"

"We gotta ride with some nice, cheery blokes is all. Ex-cons, I think, but nothin' ta wo-"

"WHAT!"

"Hey, hey, now, daddy, he was havin' fun. We were only bondin-"

"He's MINE, Spike," Angel was suddenly in the other vampire's face, making the man flinch in surprise. "Connor is MY son and dont think this night is going to repeat itself EVER because its not!" He straightened up and placed his hands on his hips. "I dont want him out of my sight or with anybody else unless I say so, got it?"

Bloody hell, talk about overprotective, Spike thought in disdain, but placed an innocent look to his face and gave a righteous reply. "Loud an' clear, mate."

"And Spike," Angel warned, his voice low. "If you ever place anything with a liquor content higher than 1 percent in front of my son again, Im flinging you out a window without hesitation."

"Durin' tha' Springer show?" Spike quipped, not being able to stop his mouth. Heaven forbid that show ever made it to daytime tv, anyways.

"No. During Regis." The vampire father stepped closer, face expressionless. "Goodnight, Spike. You can sleep on that couch for the night."

"Im not stayin' here! I got ma-"

"-You misunderstood me." There was a dangerous glint in Angel's eyes as he pulled back his fist and promptly slugged the younger man before him.

Spike was out like a light, his undead body crumpled over the very bottle he couldve sworn gave him life.

"That was for getting my son drunk in the first place."

From above, everybody dispersed quickly, eyes wide because of what they had just witnessed. Before stepping into his room, Gunn turned to Cordelia who was just about to enter the temporary room she had picked out for herself for the night.

"Who the hell is Jacob?"

Fred pulled the large man further into their room as Cordy just rolled her eyes.

Angel walked back into Connor's room, quieting his steps as to not rouse the boy, and made his way over to the bed, crossing his arms and staring down at his miracle with a frown. What had his kid been thinking, letting Spike haul him off to a bar and actually DRINKING with the man? The vampire had obviously said some things, Connor's broken speech telling of "beating him" and the like, but...

Angel sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, shifting closer when his boy didnt awaken. He contemplated reaching out to touch blushing cheeks, but thought against it when young eyelids fluttered with dreams, and got up with a heavy heart, leaning forward to switch off the bed-side lamp.

The morning would surely bring hell. Connor would be sick for a WEEK if he had consumed as much alcohol as Angel suspected.

"Dad?"

Angel froze, hearing the drowsy slur, and turned back around to look at his son.

"Connor, youre awake?"

"Mm."

Angel sat back down on the bed and watched as the boy rolled onto his back, blinking confused blue around the room.

"Whats goin' on?"

Angel raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Wher' am I?"

"Your room."

"I feel sick."

"Do you want me to help you to the bathroom?" But Connor shook his head, eyes focused now on his father with a strange look.

"No. Stay."

"What?"

"Stay with me." The plea was so small and hushed that it almost broke the vampire's heart, and he sucked in as much air as his undying body could handle while he leaned in closer, almost feeling the soft puffs of breath his son gave out.

"I'll never leave you, Connor," he promised, his eyes hard with determination. "You should already know that." But Connor just stared back unnervingly calm, his body relaxing.

"Stay with me tonight. Here."

Angel shook his head, almost laughing. "Connor, you'll be embarrassed in the morning-"

"Then we wont wake up in tha mornin'."

"Connor, youre drunk-"

"So?"

"Just close your eyes, son. I'll still be here when you wake up."

Connor gave a small pout, one that Angel found completely adorable. A small boy not looking a day over 14, snuggled deeply into crisp white sheets, a large fluffy comforter surrounding him, just about completely hiding him from loving eyes. Angel would have smiled at the sight if he hadnt still been so worried.

"Close your eyes, Connor," Angel repeated gently, sliding his cold hand through his child's dark hair. Connor murmured something, his words laced together as he lazily blinked away sleep and alcoholic fatigue, but then reached out suddenly and gripped his father's sleeve.

"Stay with me."

"I am-" He cut himself off as Connor attempted to slide away from him...and slowly tap the space beside him. "Connor..."

"Here."

"...There's not enough room for both of us," Angel let a small grin slip. Never before had his son asked him to be so close to him. A small part of his being, the part that yearned strongly for the affections of his son, was on the verge of cheering, while the other part, the relatively sane and knowledgeable side knew this change in his son was most likely only brought about because of the alcohol content in his small body.

Angel wanted to butcher his intelligent side.

"Then...we'll get rid of tha pillows...and blankets-"

"Connor, no." Angel stopped him. "Just...no. You'll be really embarrassed when you wake up-" He cut himself off again, seeing the next look his son gave.

Connor looked up at him, his face growing pale, and eyes suddenly tearing up. "You...You dont wan' to?...Fine," he turned away, his face grimacing. "Fine, just go away then!" His breath hitched and his arms tightened around his own body, but a second later, he felt a drop of the bed and his arms were nearly flung away from his quivering form, to be replaced by bigger ones, stronger ones. He was pulled close to a clothed chest, their figures melding together and spooning even though the height difference.

"Do you still want me to go away?" Came a quiet question from behind him after a moment. Connor mutely shook his head, sniveling.

"Dont cry, Connor-"

"I-Im not! Its...only the drinks trying to escape...," he said lamely. He felt the broad chest bubble with laughter as he was gripped more securely. A kiss was placed on the back of his head and they stayed like that for a while, everything silent, before the vampire spoke up again, voice steady and serious.

"Connor, promise me something."

"Wha'?"

"Promise me you'll never drink again- not until you've reached the right age atleast, and even then, not this much...Ok?"

"Mm." He already beat his father anyway, his foggy mind whispered quietly. And he smiled, delighted, that he won in both ways.

He beat the vampire. And he finally had enough courage to tell the vampire how he REALLY felt.

They both smiled to themselves, snuggling closer together, even as one began to feel sicker in body but not mind.

Angel placed one more soft kiss on his son's head as he felt the boy drop back off into a somewhat peaceful oblivion.

"...I'll always want to hold you, Connor."

**(A/N)-**_** Sorry Spike got punched out. Haha. I luv him. He's prolly very OOC here though...I dunno how 2 write an accent like that DRUNK. My grams has the "motherland" accent but she's not drunk rite now (or EVER) so me kant listen 2 her and take down notes heheheh. **_

_**1-shot over. Byz**_


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